Today's photo...

Yes...two posts in one day! Shocking!

I've tried to do a photo a day a couple times and I just lose steam and inspiration, but I do need to post more of the pictures I actually do take to inspire me to keep snapping.

Today's picture was the pile of papers, embellishments and planners/journals for the year. I've managed to create the cover and fill in the pocket pages for the My Planner calendar and I'm trying to figure out what to write in my new One Line A Day journal that John got me for Christmas. Oddly, I feel more pressure to write just one line than I do when I need to fill a page. Seems like it needs to be something important and some days, life is just not that interesting.

Off to finish up filling in the calendars with birthdays and days off...

Farewell to 2011...Bring on 2012!

Time to say goodbye to last year and begin anew. I wish I could bottle these feelings of wanting to accomplish lots of things and dole it out throughout the year. I'm so energized by the possibilities of a brand new year and empty calendar. I made the best of 2011, but it was a hard year in some ways and I watched a couple friends go through some very hard times. I'm ready for an upswing in life. I'm ready to embrace the possibilities and opportunities given to me and make something magical happen this year. 2012 is going to be good!

I've participated in the "One Little Word" challenge the past several years and I'm jumping on the bandwagon again this year. I thought I had my word for the past month or so, but when it came time to commit to it, it just felt a little off. I couldn't come up with one word that rang true with me. So instead of one little word, I've picked three: Go. See. Do. This sums up my dreams and plans for 2012. I've had this song by Asha Ali playing in my head for days: The Time is Now. I am a procrastinator of the highest order and that needs to change. Life is moving fast and putting things off is not how to achieve the life I want to live. I'm inspired right now to change things up and I am hoping I can keep this momentum up for a while. I know it will wax and wane throughout the year, but I have found having my one little word mantra has been helpful in the past. I'm taking this class again too: One Little Word with Ali Edwards. It's a once a month reminder to stay on track.

I hope that 2012 is more than you hope it can be!

A farewell to Enzo...

Today I lost my big guy who has been with me through all the ups and downs of the past 13.5 years. He was one of the constants in my crazy life during that time. He was my first dog. He was my pride and joy...even if he slobbered more than I would have liked. He made me laugh. He frustrated me. He kept me company when I was at my loneliest and he comforted me when I was sad. No one gave a good sloppy kiss like that boy!

We spent the last week treating him like the king of the house and the last two days being spoiled rotten. I was inspired by this article that I saw on Friday and did a bit of shopping on my way home to make it happen for him. Lots of good food and treats and lots of love and even more pictures. I hope that we made him happy.

We are very grateful that the vet came to the house. There was so much less stress this way. We took him out and let him take a last long walk around the yard without having to worry about tiring him out or his legs holding up enough to get him in the house. He dragged me all over chasing new smells and exploring. When he was tired, we settled him on a blanket and loved on him. It was peaceful and loving...like it should be.

He was very loved. He will be so missed. RIP my Enzo.

One year and one day ago...

This was what I was doing...

(all photos courtesy of the wonderful Sierra Kristen Photography)

One year and one day ago, I married my best friend (cheesy but true!). It has been a wonderful year and I am looking forward to many, many more with John. He has been a bigger blessing to me than I could have ever hoped for and I am thankful every day for his presence in my life. There is no one I'd rather take this journey through life with.

(P.S. I really did create a list of 48 things before 48 and have been working on them. Already missed a few of them and have achieved a few of them. I'll post it soon!)

Forgot to post this about yesterday...

Somehow I forgot to post the magic that took place in my yard yesterday morning! When I let the dogs out there were some very small birds darting about and they were moving to fast for me to get a good enough look to identify them. Totally intrigued, I put the dogs back in and went outside to see if I could get a better look. And I was delighted to find a hummingbird flying by me on its way to my flowering quince bush for a little taste...

It flitted about the flowers for a few minutes, taking time to rest and be still on the branches a couple times, while I tried to will my camera to come to me! It was so lovely to watch and a gift to get to see it for so long. She was beautiful and I hope to see her again soon!

A little later in the day, we were packing up John for the trip to Maine and I heard a little bit of bird chatter. I looked around and found 3 Baltimore Orioles having a little party in the same flowering quince and my maple tree! They were flying all over the place! I am usually lucky enough to see one of these beautiful birds once or twice a year in my yard. I have never had 3 of them at one time and never heard them chatter the way they were. It was awesome!

I'm off to a good start for this spring's bird sightings!

Oh, and soon, we're going to have baby robins! They have built a nest on top of the rear wheel of John's 4-wheeler that's parked next to the shed. Yes. On top of the wheel! There are 2-3 eggs in there and we figure they'll hatch some time next week. I'm going to try to get some pictures without upsetting the mother bird. Wish me luck!

Now it's time to get ready for the big day at the new job...

Changes in my life, in the world...

But first a peek of spring from my yard:

(I have approximately 10-12 different kinds of daffodils in bloom now - the yard is just beautiful!)

We woke up to the news of the death of Osama Bin Laden. And for some reason it made me cry. I really don't know why. I have friends and family that were so very close to being lost in NYC on that day. I am appalled by the violence and ugliness that was perpetrated by that man and his followers. I am sad that there is ugliness like that in the world. I hope that this death will mark a new and better, more understanding time and that there won't be 10 new people stepping up to take his place. I hope and pray for peace for all. Maybe the tears are because remembering the past 10 years and all the lives lost and lives shattered has made my heart heavy.

Tomorrow I will start a new job. For the second time in just over a year. I feel like a kid going to a new school. Will they like me? Will I wear the right clothes? What if no one wants to be my friend? And to make it even a little bit more interesting, I took this position on a temp-to-hire basis. Scary. But I was assured that they are anticipating the temporary part to only last 3-4 weeks - just enough time to confirm that I'm a good fit for the team. My fingers are crossed that I can prove myself to them and that it's all set in 3 weeks so. That would mean that I mailed my last COBRA payment check today and my finances will start returning to normal.

Today I went to the temporary company that contacted me and found me the job to complete my employee paperwork. And in order to make that less of a hassle, John and I went to the RMV this morning and I officially changed my name. I had changed it with Social Security back in September, but held off changing it everywhere else until some things with my father's estate were settled.

In other news, my cousin and the kids (and my aunt and uncle) are off having fun in Disney without us. We had planned on going, but John talked me out of it because I was job hunting and he didn't want it to be an issue if I found a job. And look how right he was! But I am more than a little bit jealous and so wish I was in Florida with them.

John left this morning for a week of working in Maine. Of course. It's almost like the company scheduler knows when he would most like to be home and that's when he's shipped out of town. He feels bad about not being here for me, but I think I'll be fine and he's going to miss tomorrow morning's panic attack. And that's not a bad thing.

Now it's time to go change the purse/tote to the new one I got to celebrate the new job. Coach had the foresight to send me a coupon good for last week and John had the wonderfulness to encourage me to get myself something to give me a smile and make me feel good when I show up at work tomorrow.

So...fingers crossed for a good day tomorrow! I've got to go get my outfit and lunch ready too!

Popping back in again with good news...

I never came and posted the "to do" list for this year. I wrote it out and I've even started crossing things off. Now I just need to type it out and post it. That's on the schedule for this weekend.

Today, after 4+ months, I am happy to say that I will become gainfully employed again next week. I am so very relieved and excited. I'm even more relieved and excited that I was able to find a job in my chosen field in a law firm that has been voted as one of the Best Places to Work 3 years in a row - and they've only been in existence for 5 years. I think that's really great. The office where I'll be working is incredibly cool. It's the top floor of a renovated locomotive factory. Lots of exposed brick and high ceilings. Windows that actually open! The decorator/designer had fabulous taste in furniture and the artwork is gorgeous. Fingers crossed that this is a good fit and that I won't be job hunting again for a very long time.

I have much to catch up on here. I haven't wanted to post anything because I felt I didn't have a lot of positive things to say. The last month has been particularly difficult on my self-esteem and attitude. I felt like I was perpetually blue and couldn't find a way to snap out of it. I've learned some things about myself during this period and that's not a bad thing. Now I can use that information going forward and work on a better me.

Off to bed to try to turn off the whirling dervish that is my brain right now. Tomorrow morning I'm going to the airport to see my favorite kids off as the family heads to Disney for a week. Without me. But there will be pictures and memories that they can share with me when they get home. I'm looking forward to seeing it through their eyes.

See you soon!

47...

Today I am 47 years old. Unfathomable and hard to comprehend. I could swear that I just turned 25 a couple years go. For sure I can't be more than 32, can I??? This is a crazy number and I am having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I am just that old.

It's been a good day even though all the plans I made didn't actually happen. And I think one of the best things I've learned in all these years is that you just have to roll with what life gives you. I did that today and was rewarded with some good memories.

Tomorrow I'm coming back with my "48 before 48" - the list of what to do before the next birthday. This seems so much cooler (and easier) for those bloggers doing this in their 20s. But this old fogey is going to give a try herself and see what happens.

Off to finish the list and start a new book. See you tomorrow!

Walking in a winter wonderland...

This is my yard on Tuesday morning after we had about 1" of beautiful, wet, sticky snow. I love how everything looks magical and the hush that the snow brings! Lovely. Just lovely! (And you'll be happy to know that I ventured outside in my pajamas again without incident LOL!)

I've been spending the past few days going through my kitchen cabinets, reorganizing them and cleaning them out. The ones over the refrigerator were like an archaeological dig - I am sure there were things that I put up there 14 years ago when they were installed and that I haven't seen since. It was good timing. On Tuesday morning I put 2 boxes of kitchen things (and 2 boxes of books) out for pickup by Big Brothers/Big Sisters. I have freed up some space and given some things a new shot a life.

As a reward, I finally got myself a Magic Bullet blender so I could make the smoothies I really want without having to clean the big blender. I tried it out this morning and it's love! So simple and easy. And even easier to clean. This morning's smoothie was created with some Oasis strawberry/banana smoothie mix, some frozen mixed berries and pineapple and a splash of orange juice. It was yummy! This is going to be wonderful...and good for me!

As for the review on the Chai Tea Latte concentrate recipe, here it is: It was a bit time consuming (not to mention a bit expensive to get stocked up on the spices) and some of the measurements were a little vague, but it was fairly easy and good. I think next time I might put a little less orange zest and a little more of the spices. I was comparing it to my favorite from Starbuck's, so maybe my judgment was a little off. But it was good and I can see myself keeping it handy for an afternoon treat.

The job hunting is going as expected. Slow and painfully quiet. Some of these online applications are so very long and time consuming. And some are completely redundant. Upload your resume and then fill in all the information anyway on their online form. Ugh. I am not cut out for this modern way of getting a job. I miss the days of just visiting a placement firm and having them do the work. It just doesn't seem to work that way any more. I am not a good salesman. And I am even worse at selling myself. But I will persevere and try to get better at it. I am also feeling a bit guilty about limiting my search to jobs outside of the big city. I cannot go back to that commute (leave at 6:10 am and get home more than 12 hours later) and I so very much want a job closer to home. But that's not where most of the jobs are and I feel guilty that I am not applying for everything I am qualified for despite it's location. I need to get over that. I need to remember that I deserve some quality of life and that I'm not abusing the system by trying to find a job that fits me and my goals for my life.

I should hear about my unemployment claim next week and hopefully there will be some income coming in soon. I filed my first weekly "claim" this week and have to remember to make that part of my Monday morning routine now.

This morning I finally got around to writing the "To Do/Wish List" for what I'd like to accomplish during this "sabbatical". It's remarkably long. And optimistic! But it was good to spend some time this morning doing this. I don't want to waste this time. So it's good to have a list and it's good to get some projects done.

Tomorrow I'm going to force myself to stay off the computer most of the day and tackle one or two things on that list. And I know that it'll make me feel good.

Sharing a embarrassing moment....

What? Why yes...those are my crocs full of and covered with snow. How did they get that way you ask? Well, as I was letting the dogs in I thought I would take a moment and see if I could clear some of the ice on the front porch. So, I let them in and pulled the door to close it enough to stop the cold from coming in. It's got an automatic lock on it, so I'm always very careful not to pull too hard. But I must have forgot what I was doing and the next thing I knew, it was closed. Very closed. And I was on the front porch in my pajamas and crocs. And the only thing between me and the inside was a 15' walk through snow that comes up past my knees. Did I mention there were no boots anywhere? And it was at least 40 minutes or so until John would get home. And the dang dogs have yet to learn how to open doors (gotta teach them that!). So I gave myself a little pep talk about how it would be over really quick and started off. And the crocs came off in the snow at least 4-5 times while I tried to make it to the driveway. Snow on bare feet is COLD! But I did it and said a little prayer of thanks that there was a hidden spare key for the back door that I could get to. I am happy to report that the feet have almost thawed. LOL!

Just before that incident, I was making this: Spiced Chai Concentrate from Tasty Kitchen
I just strained it and will be having some a little later this afternoon. Review to follow...